just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
