btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
