I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
