i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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