I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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