Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
