Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
