Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
