It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize