in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
