i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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