32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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