5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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