She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
