Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
