areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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