I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think a kid would responsible me up
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
