is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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