I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
