so that wasnt chicken after all
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize