Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Randomize
