I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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