i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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