I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
