wat bout pragnant strippers??
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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