5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I touched a dick in church today
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