farters have to be the big spoon...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
