I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
