We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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