yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
