She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
