My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
