he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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