Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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