Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i out mim tonsoeep
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