so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
