Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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