there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
