when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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