with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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