I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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