I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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