Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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