Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
