Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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