i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
ok first of all what the fuck
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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