I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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