He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
