Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
