After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
