He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
PANTIES FOUND
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