she was so not down for the gang bang
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
