In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
