it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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