someone get that fucking seahorse.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Randomize
