false alarm. still invincible.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
