The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
